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Food is not one of Atul's favorite subject. He eats well when he is hungry, but there is no guarantee that he would eat every single meal and snack, every single day. There have been days when he had polished his lunch and then there have been days when the very same menu came back untouched. When we raised it as a concern to Atul's pediatrician, she advised that toddlers need just one and a half full meal per day to help them stay healthy and aid their growth. We were told, as long as it averages out, he is in a good place.
Later, when I was discussing this with a friend, she recommended this book to me and I am so glad I took her advise and checked it out. The underlying theme of the book is the clear division of responsibility between parents and kids when it comes to eating. Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in which it is presented. Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.
Children will eat. They are capable of regulating their food intake. They generally react negatively to new foods but will usually accept them with time and experience. Parents can either support or disrupt children's food acceptance and food regulation.
Children eat best when parents follow their lead, set appropriate limits, and food in a smooth, comfortable and emotionally satisfying fashion. Children eat worst when parents are either domineering or neglectful in feeding.
You shouldn't force your child to eat. It is the most unhelpful thing you could possibly do. You are crossing the lines when you try to control on the amount a child eats. You are also crossing the lines when you fail to take responsibility for planning and preparing meals and snacks and for making them important.
There is a difference between putting on the pressure and setting limits. If you fail to set limits, you won't like what happens, and your child will not do well. You have to find the middle ground between being too rigid and controlling and letting things go out of control.
Children vary in how much they eat, in what they like and in their love of eating. , children vary day to day
Family meals – gives structure
If what you have on the table and what you prepare for snacks is generally desirable, your child can have the occasional meal or snack that isn't so wonderful and he will still be alright nutritionally.
You are the gatekeeper: the one who controls what foods come, in quantity, into the house. Don't underestimate the enormous influence managing the source of supply can have over your child's eating. Even if he doesn't initially accept everything you offer him, eventually, he will, because that's what he is familiar and that what he sees people who are important to him eating.
You take your gatekeeper function seriously not only when you buy good food but also when you keep foods out of the house that you don't approve of. You needn't apologize for not buying pop or potato chips if you don't want those to be a staple in your child's diet.
Offer a variety of food on the table. Put it all on the table, so that there are several dishes he can pick and choose from. Don't make the mistake of presenting one at a time, because they will seem like his refusing and your offering alternatives.
You also need not give in to panhandling when he comes around right after the meal wanting something to eat. He can wait for the next planned snack.
The book helped us look at Atul's eating habits in a whole new perspective. While we never took to force feeding him, we certainly thought it was our responsibility to monitor how well and how much he ate. We are slowly learning to unlearn this attitude and trust Atul to regulate the quantity of his food intake. We have some simple rules that he is expected to abide by during meal time. No watching TV or reading books while eating. No moving around during meal time. Eat while you eat, play while you play. The only snacks that will be served at home during week days will be fruits. However, he gets to choose anything for his snack time during the weekend, no questions asked. He is required to do three things after meal time - put his plate in the sink, clean himself up, drink some water.
We see a big improvement in Atul's eating behavior after following some of the simple things outlined in the book. But more importantly, the battle of wills at meal time has definitely come down over the past couple of months.
- Mood:
sleepy
Comments
Though I tend to agree in theory to few things in book, I have disagrrement for the practicality' e.g. "Offer a variety of food on the table. Put it all on the table, so that there are several dishes he can pick and choose from"..please how can one do that. honestly, I can not put many dishes on the table for supper; i will have 1 grain, 1 vegg, i pulse/lentil,1meat/fish; but not 3 veggies to choose from.
wish I could get my kids to eat meal on weekendays without TV. weekends, when I have bit more flexibility on my schedule, i don't put tv for them.
great to know Atul is eating better..you are doing a greta job!
belated Mother's day! hope you had a great one!
shy
Yes, Atul is eating better and I have changed my definition of eating better as well. I was not a great eater myself when I was a kid, so sometimes recalling that helps me put things in perspective. I remember how the very sight of vegetables made rest of the food unappetizing.
Yeah, I agree the book says certain things that is in conflict with our own value system or is not practical. I try to tailor make it to suit Atul.
Here's another unsolicited tip. Atul doesn't take vegetables, which is a concern to me because we don't eat meat either. When I brought this up with the pedia, she told Atul about the one-bite rule - that every day he is suppose to eat atleast one bite/spoon of vegetable and it's ok if he doesn't want to eat further but not having that one bit is not a choice. So what this means is, now he may not eat cabbage, but is willing to try the peas and carrots that come with the cabbage. Not ideal, but something to begin with. I have the confidence that it would improve with time.