As I took a trip down the memory lane for the Earliest Memory tag, I couldn't help taking detours to the streets that lead to memories revolving my mom. You see last week was her b'day, a special one too. I fondly thought of the times that she would come to pick us up from Chinmaya Vidyalaya, which is where we did our elementary schooling. If we missed our regular bus, she would treat us with bread, butter, and jam at the local Abilasha bakery. I remember the evenings that she slogged with us to get homeworks done, and to get us prepared for the exams. She was the one that taught us how to play shuttle, and carom. Narrated us short and inspiring stories from the Tamizh weekly magazines. Her vengaya vatha khozhambu, and mysore sathumamudu are worth dyeing for. I remember as a child how my chest puffed with pride when I saw her buzzing around, making her presence felt, making herself useful during weddings and family reunions, and wondering if I will ever make such an impact when I grow up.

Today as a grown up, we have had our share of role reversals. We talk to each other like two mature adults rather than as a mom and daughter. I have learnt some of life's important lessons, that of confidence and optimism from her. Now that I am a mom myself, I have a greater appreciation for all the things she has done and continues to do for us.  Here's wishing heartful of happiness, pinkest of health, peace of mind, and bestest of best to amma dear. You are the best!

Normally, I am wary of posting family pictures on the web. But this time, I do feel like showing her off. A picture of my mom taken three years back under the cut.

Yes, it's hard to say that this lady has a grandson to pamper!

Thirty years and 12 days. Yes, that's how old I am today and I feel like screaming that from the top of a mountain, mostly out of relief. I think after I turned 27 or 28, the days around my birthday were getting to be a little less mirthful and a little more introspective. I would catch myself making mental tick marks and filling in the blanks – Am I any better as a daughter, sister, wife, mom, daughter-in-law, friend , research analyst, a human being than I was last year? What have I accomplished this year? Am I growing or just aging? Blah, blah. My husband, who started counting his age backwards since he turned 30, would readily empathize and reassure me that it's all in the game. I dreaded turning 30, because in my mind, that number painted the picture of a middle aged woman, who was wise, mature and accomplished. And I feared that I would be middle aged, sans the wisdom, maturity and accomplishment.

So how did it feel when I actually turned 30 a couple of weeks back? Relieved, blessed and aware! Relieved, at the realization that Thirty was just a number, and that I was attaching way too much importance to it. I did not feel a day older than I was a year or two back. Blessed, because of all the things that I may have been without but have been blessed with. I felt like I wanted to treasure my blessings in the palm of my hands. Aware, that I may not live up to the standards I have set for myself, but overall, I am happy with who I am, where I am and what I do, at this point in life.

Moving on to jollier stuff – the celebration. Atul was slightly unwell that weekend, but that only altered our plans not dismiss them. We ordered a Thai take out, went to temple and ended with  the usual cake cutting. We had some nice quiet family time. All the b'day wishes that poured in from friends and family left me with the warm and fuzzy feeling that one would want to have on a b'day. Needless to say, I was grinning ear to ear all through the week.

The celebration continued the following weekend as well with a surprise trip to Nashville to visit my twin and his wife. My sister-in-law and I plotted it a month in advance and we just couldn't wait to see Arun's reaction. Knock, knock, who's that? is literally how the three of us went to their place. That flabbergasted look on Arun's face was the best b'day present I could have asked for!

Atul's b'day celebration began a day in advance, which also happened to be his star b'day. As soon as he woke up, Arvind and I sang the Happy B'day song with his face glowing at its best. Then, the 3 year old began with a volley of questions, “is today my B'day”, “will A come to my party?”, “will you buy me a clown cap?”, “can I open my present?”. So many things to get excited about. By now he had equated b'day  to present day. So we had this conversation on how b'day is 

Then, we marched to Atul's school with his favorite snacks (Cheez it and Ice Cream). As soon as he entered the classroom, all his friends started heaping b'day wishes. Atul likes it when I spend time with him at school. So the plan was for me to read books to kids at the end of the day. But being the day before Thanksgiving, attendance was thin. Nevertheless we stuck to our plan and read Atul's favorite story, the Jungle book, for the one kid that was willing to listen :-).

The next day, which was his DOB, Atul received wishes from grandparents, aunt, uncle and friends. One of my friends had come over and we had a simple cake cutting ceremony. This was followed by a visit to the Ashland temple in the evening. The celebration extended till Thanksgiving weekend. We organized a small b'day party for Atul at home on novemeber 26th. With about 10 kids around, the house was teeming with life. All it took was, clown caps and assorted toys to get the kiddies jubilant. Atul totally enjoyed being in the limelight. At the end of the day, he came up to us and asked matter-of-fact, “Is my b'day all done?”. I smile at him with a nod, while I secretly thanked God for making him ours. 

 

Atul had a fun-derful second b'day. The celebrations began the night before the b'day when Arvind brought home a chocolate cake, some cup cakes, chocolate milk and Thomas, the tank engine b'day balloon. His face lit up like a 1000 watts bulb when he saw the balloon and as we sang his favorite theme song from Thomas cartoon. Once the novelty of the balloon died down, he was on to cake. He wasn't too happy about having to blow the candle and cut the cake before he could actually have a piece of it. Knowing too well that I was gaining to ask for a bite (I always ask for a share from his snack :-)), he declared beforehand "mommy no share cake". He insisted on going to bed with the balloon in his hands.

The next day, his grandparents, uncles and aunts sang happy b'day to him on the phone and the words struck in his head. He kept singing the song to himself the whole day. Looks like he had a b'day party at school (which here means all the kids in his classroom sang for him and all of them had chocolate milk and cup cakes... now, I feel like the narrator in Lemony Snicket. It's a fun read if you haven't already read it). We took him to the temple in the evening and went to Chennai Woodlands for dinner (My supervisor at work says moms should treat themselves on their kids' b'day. I second that idea).

Atul will be two years old on Nov. 22nd. It feels like just yesterday that I was waiting in the hospital to take a first glimpse at this little angel and here I am typing this post two years later, after a dose of hugs and kisses from my bundle of joy. Oh, the unsuspecting and unconditional love that he showers on us is so intoxicating.

The first one year was a year of coping up with all the changes that a new arrival brings. Any silly thing he did was adorable and had a special meaning. Arvind and I were typical new parents wanting to protect him from all things that we possible could and couldn't. The second year has been different in many ways. Atul is growing up to be this wonderful individual with a personality and mind of his own. Small things that he does and says reminds us how watchful we have to be because he is looking up to us as role models. In a sense, he is molding us to be better individuals. Arvind and I are getting more and more comfortable in our role as parents and continue to cherish every silly thing that he does.

The journey has just begun. There will be many stories to be shared and lessons to be learnt.