As I took a trip down the memory lane for the Earliest Memory tag, I couldn't help taking detours to the streets that lead to memories revolving my mom. You see last week was her b'day, a special one too. I fondly thought of the times that she would come to pick us up from Chinmaya Vidyalaya, which is where we did our elementary schooling. If we missed our regular bus, she would treat us with bread, butter, and jam at the local Abilasha bakery. I remember the evenings that she slogged with us to get homeworks done, and to get us prepared for the exams. She was the one that taught us how to play shuttle, and carom. Narrated us short and inspiring stories from the Tamizh weekly magazines. Her vengaya vatha khozhambu, and mysore sathumamudu are worth dyeing for. I remember as a child how my chest puffed with pride when I saw her buzzing around, making her presence felt, making herself useful during weddings and family reunions, and wondering if I will ever make such an impact when I grow up.

Today as a grown up, we have had our share of role reversals. We talk to each other like two mature adults rather than as a mom and daughter. I have learnt some of life's important lessons, that of confidence and optimism from her. Now that I am a mom myself, I have a greater appreciation for all the things she has done and continues to do for us.  Here's wishing heartful of happiness, pinkest of health, peace of mind, and bestest of best to amma dear. You are the best!

Normally, I am wary of posting family pictures on the web. But this time, I do feel like showing her off. A picture of my mom taken three years back under the cut.

Yes, it's hard to say that this lady has a grandson to pamper!

After some excitement over my visa, I landed in Boston seven years back. Limping due to a wrong size metti (toe ring), I dragged myself with my hand resting on Arvind's shoulder eagerly listening to all the tidbits about the ways of life in the U.S. A myriad of thoughts were running through my mind, some profound, and others mundane. The enormity of what I had left behind and the blind faith with which I was tagging along with this person for life was sinking in. Part of me was looking forward to all the milestones – first home cooked meal, first trip to the grocery store, first time meeting Arvind's friends , so on and so forth. Then in a true feminist style, there was a part of me that felt, why is it that I should give up family, friends, and career by default? why not him? That I was here on a dependent visa only rubbed salt to the injury. With this bag of conflicting emotions, I began a new chapter in my life.

The first year was a year of coping up with changes, fitting in the new environment, building a support system and exploring all the things that this country offered. In the process we discovered each other, developed greater appreciation for each other's likes and dislikes, and learnt that it was no fun pushing each other's hot buttons. The next two years we did more of what we did in the first year and with that we formed our own little traditions and laid down rules that govern the world we have built for ourselves. With Atul's arrival the concept of family and sense of belonging we have for each other and the fondness for this place has only grown over the past three years. 

To put it in a nutshell, in the beginning, it was like someone had given a clean slate and the only barrier to creating something beautiful was our own imagination. Today, seven years later, I feel a sense of contentment and gratitude with what Arvind and I have created on that slate. And somewhere between the first year and today, my feminist streak has unintentionally but selectively vanished.

Thirty years and 12 days. Yes, that's how old I am today and I feel like screaming that from the top of a mountain, mostly out of relief. I think after I turned 27 or 28, the days around my birthday were getting to be a little less mirthful and a little more introspective. I would catch myself making mental tick marks and filling in the blanks – Am I any better as a daughter, sister, wife, mom, daughter-in-law, friend , research analyst, a human being than I was last year? What have I accomplished this year? Am I growing or just aging? Blah, blah. My husband, who started counting his age backwards since he turned 30, would readily empathize and reassure me that it's all in the game. I dreaded turning 30, because in my mind, that number painted the picture of a middle aged woman, who was wise, mature and accomplished. And I feared that I would be middle aged, sans the wisdom, maturity and accomplishment.

So how did it feel when I actually turned 30 a couple of weeks back? Relieved, blessed and aware! Relieved, at the realization that Thirty was just a number, and that I was attaching way too much importance to it. I did not feel a day older than I was a year or two back. Blessed, because of all the things that I may have been without but have been blessed with. I felt like I wanted to treasure my blessings in the palm of my hands. Aware, that I may not live up to the standards I have set for myself, but overall, I am happy with who I am, where I am and what I do, at this point in life.

Moving on to jollier stuff – the celebration. Atul was slightly unwell that weekend, but that only altered our plans not dismiss them. We ordered a Thai take out, went to temple and ended with  the usual cake cutting. We had some nice quiet family time. All the b'day wishes that poured in from friends and family left me with the warm and fuzzy feeling that one would want to have on a b'day. Needless to say, I was grinning ear to ear all through the week.

The celebration continued the following weekend as well with a surprise trip to Nashville to visit my twin and his wife. My sister-in-law and I plotted it a month in advance and we just couldn't wait to see Arun's reaction. Knock, knock, who's that? is literally how the three of us went to their place. That flabbergasted look on Arun's face was the best b'day present I could have asked for!

Orkut helped me to get in touch with a couple of my childhood friends last week. My twin brother, Arun, and I studied in the Virugambakkam (in Chennai) branch of Chinmaya Vidyalaya (CV) from first to fifth std. That too in the same section. So the school is special to us in more ways than one.

CV is where I developed some of my very first friendships. S, P & H were cousins. All of us studied in the same section and lived in the same neighborhood. So memories came flooding to mind when I saw profile pictures of S & P on Orkut. Come summer vacation, all of us (S,P, H, Arun, myself and a couple of other friends) would gather at S's house with grand plans to enact a skit, sing songs or play board games. Since her house was on the way to the bus stop, we would throw curious glances at her house whenever we passed by it. In those days, our classrooms in CV had none of the fancy buildings of today and we were pretty much housed in thatched roofs. I remember getting thrilled whenever it rained because the leaky roof was an excuse for us to sit down on the floor next to our friends. Learning at CV was very closely linked to religion. Every Friday, we would have balavihar sessions, wherein we would recite a bunch of slokams in a certain order. On the day of Vijayadasami, kids would do padha-pooja (washing the feet) for their mommy dears. Arun and I would always fight for amma's right leg with me losing the battle most of the times. I would console myself by saying that since heart was on the left side of the body, that must be the better side! Later we moved into a flat of our very own, which opened gateways to other friendships. This post would be incomplete if I don't mention the yummy bread-butter-jam that amma bought for us from a local bakery whenever we missed our evening bus. Good old times!

Since appa was in a bank job, he was transferred when we finished our fifth standard. I remember feeling heart-broken at the thought of losing my friends and wondering if I would make any new ones at the new place. It turned out that we kept in touch on and off for a really long time through letters (I still have every single one of them) and even visited them during our Chennai trips. But somewhere along the way, we were not able to maintain the tempo and we just lost in touch. Thanks to Orkut, I was able to pick up the pieces from where we left after a phone conversation with S this weekend. 

A very happy 2007 to everyone. Wishing you all with all that you wish for in the year to come.

2006 has been a truly mixed bag for us with its share of joys and sorrows. January began on a happy note with the celebration of Atul's ayushoma while December is closing on a sad note with the passing away of my father-in-law. In May, Arvind and I celebrated our five years of married life. The highlight of the year was my brother's wedding in August.  A couple of our close friends moved out of Boston in October creating a vacuum that will be hard to fill. Arvind's sister and her family visited us in November, which was a big milestone for Arvind, as she is the first person to visit us from his side of the family for the 13 years that he has been in Boston. Personally for me, this year has been a year of growing up. I have learnt that there will always be hurdles to cross in life, but that should not take us away from all the joys that life has to offer. Two big wins for the year include joining bharthnatiyam class (for the nth time in my life) and paying off my student loan. So many more things to look forward to and accomplish in this new year.