For some strange reason, this meme reminded me of the autograph books that we used to so eagerly fill when we passed out of high school. Years have rolled by. Friendships have changed, priorities have changed, I have changed, but memories remain, some fading away while others still  fresh as if it were yesterday. Such is life!

1. Last movie you saw in a theater with the hubby is Golden Compass
   

2. What book are you reading: Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

3. Favorite board game: used to be Chinese Checkers

4. Favorite smells: I am going with hand creams and lotions this time – the unbeatable Johnson and Johnson baby lotion, and the next favorite is, honey dew melon and cucumber hand cream.

5. Favorite sound: Atul giggling

6. Worst feeling in the world: I feel the worst when someone that's close to my heart is in trouble, and I am not able to do anything to solve it. It takes a lot of mental coaching to let go and remind myself that things have a way of sorting itself out, and I don't necessarily have to play a part in it.

7. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up: Is it 5'o clock?

8. Favorite fast food place: Panera Bread – quick, consistent and predictable food and service

9. Future child's name: Don't know. But definitely something that doesn't start with a A (I simply have too many A people around me – hubby, son, brother, sis-in-law)

10. Finish this statement. "If I had a lot of money, I'd ... give some more for charity.

11. Do you drive fast: Yes, sometimes.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Nah! Can never relate to fancy for stuffed toys.

13. Storms - Cool or scary: Neither

14. What was your first car: Toyota Echo

15. Favorite drink: Swiss Miss/Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate.

16. Finish this statement. "If I had the time, I would..." waste it. Yes, when I don't have the time I crib about how little time I have, but when I do have the time in my hands, I do nothing with it.

17. Do you eat the stems on broccoli? Sure!

18. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?: Brownish Maroon

19. Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in: Bangalore, Trichirapalli, Coimbatore, Mettupalayam, Madurai, Madras, Malden, Melrose, Lexington

20. Favorite sports to watch: Haven't really followed any particular sport, but would really like to watch basketball and tennis

21. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you: that would be me – nallaval, vallaval... :-)

22. What's under your bed? Layers and layers of dust

23. Would you like to be born as yourself again? Why not, I like being me.

24. Morning person or night owl: Hard core morning person. Suffice to say I sleep at 8:30/9:00 P.M. And wake up at 4:30 or 5:00 A.M daily.

25. Over easy or sunny side up: Don't know

26. Favorite place to relax: Our backyard, especially in the spring, early in the morning. The contentment that comes from seeing all the perennials sprouting, and the birds chirping and hopping around is immeasurable. For those few minutes, I get the feeling that I have the world to myself!

27. Favorite pie: Don't like pies

28. Favorite ice cream flavor: More of a cake person than an ice cream person. Anything chocolate. On second thoughts, mango.
    

I remember this saying written in bold words on a black board in one of our Hindi classrooms as a "Thought for the Day". Years later, I am beginning to feel that this was coined with folks like me in mind. You know you are impatient when:

- You place your food in the microwave and set it for 2 mints looking forward to a warm lunch, but simply cannot let it run it's course if you are not multitasking.

- You are making adai/uttappam and you are tempted to turn it the other side even before it's done in order to be done with it.

- It's a green signal and the car in front of you is waiting to take a left turn. How you wish you had left seconds earlier to give you an edge over that vehicle that seems to be taking its sweet time to move on.

- You repeatedly hit the refresh button on your browser hoping that it would load the crawling web page faster.

- You plant the fenugreek seeds today and keep staring at the pot every two to three hours hoping that the mere act would hasten the germination.

- You want to chew your candy, even the hard one, instead of experiencing the pleasure of it melting in your mouth.

- You conveniently conclude that ending a list with a round number is all in the mind.

On that note, enjoy rest of the weekend and have a good week ahead.

When I was younger, I used to have this notebook in which I jotted down some of my favorite quotes, sayings and articles that I came across first hand or through friends. It used to be a powerful tool to me back then. If I had a particularly rough day or was struggling with a situation that I couldn't grapple with, I would take comfort in the words hidden in those pages. I would fervently skim through the collection to pick some quotes to include in letters to my pen friends. I would eagerly look forward to the monthly edition of Wisdom (or was it fortnightly, my memory fails me) or the Readers Digest that my dad bought from the old book shops. I remember paying close attention to every word that came out of my very eloquent high school English teacher, so that I could put some of the pearls of wisdom in that notebook. If a friend visited me, I would show it off as my most treasured possession.

Today, when I dusted the notebook and swiftly turned the pages and glanced through the faded handwriting, I re-discovered the strength and inspiration that I drew from these words not so long ago.
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One of the sayings that my very eloquent English teacher often told in the class was on age. He would often say, "For some, wisdom comes with age, and for others, age alone comes",  to  a class that roared with laughter. Even after more than a decade, this saying keeps playing in my brain on and off . I was mulling over this topic last night as I was slurping the Thai take out we had ordered. In my mind I feared that I will get older without becoming any wiser. That I will not learn from my mistakes. That I will not act with a better sense of maturity. So on and so forth. After a while, the mood lightened and I forgot all about it. Once dinner was over, we reached out for our share of fortune cookies, eager to read what "fortune" was in store for us. (Reminds me of the "fortune" that the weighing scales at the railway stations used to predict back home).  Want to take a guess on what mine read? "It is better to be happy than wise". Hehehehe.... I think the universe is trying to tell me something - to chill out and not  take myself so seriously!
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While I am at the topic of words and sayings, why not quote a favorite phrase that I came across through a friend a few years back. Ever heard of the phrase, Throw your hat over the fence? What this means is, once you throw your hat over the other side of the fence, the only option is to go get it.  (The other option is to leave it, but keeping with the spirit of the post I am not going there). I may not know how to get that hat, but it doesn't matter, because once I make a beginning I will figure a way out along the way. It doesn't matter what deficiencies I have because I will learn to overcome them as I get closer to the hat. I love the wild optimism in this phrase. It tells us to blindly believe in ourselves and to just go reach out for our dreams.

Atul is going through a I-am-a-big-boy-now phase (remember the Complan ad?). He wants to wear his clothes, from underwear to shoes, all by himself without any assistance from appa or amma. Sometimes it takes multiple attempts and occasionally it leaves him frustrated, with finding his sleeves being the most challenging part of the getting-dressed-up drama. Upset and helpless, he would come to us, "It is so hard, my hand is on the way, I am not able to find it (sleeves)". Although the parental reflex is to go find the sleeves for him, we have learnt not to succumb to it.  Once or twice we committed that mistake, and it only magnified the meltdown. "Why did you help me? I wanted to do it all by myself. Don't do that amma (or appa)". Us helping him somehow seemed to undermine his efforts; it was as though we stole some of the credit due to him. So, we have switched our roles to that of cheer leaders. Maintaining a one-arm-distance, we lavish words of cheer  - Atul, you can do it, just stay calm and be patient with yourself, turn the tshirt all the way around., yaada yaada yaada. By hook or crook, most of the times, as intended, the three and half a year old succeeds in wearing them (that is underwear, pant, undershirt, etc.). The sense of accomplishment from surviving the ordeal and the satisfaction that he did it by himself take the form of a naughty glee and is at its pinnacle, when Arvind and I clap and give a hi-five to him. Joyfully, the kiddo proclaims, "I did it mommy (daddy)". To which the cheer leaders respond, yes kanna, you did it and we are proud of you for not giving up!


Then, there are times when he likes to regress into his babyhood days. He would go searching for his sippy cup or would fancy using his baby spoons and forks for his meals. In role plays, he would declare, "You are the mommy and I am the baby. I will cry because I don't know to use words yet." When he sees a baby with a pacifier, he would express a fleeting desire to use it. I selectively (and carefully) give in to his requests and let him experience babyhood briefly.

Coming to think of it, I go through somewhat similar phases too. There are days when I want to be a grown up - when there is a strong desire to nurture, give and care. And then there are times when I long to relive the carefree days of school and college; re-experience the pleasure of doing nothing. Like Atul, I selectively indulge. A late night movie with the husband. An evening out with a close friend. A long early morning walk. Some quiet time with a book. It's only a phase and after receiving it's share of attention, true to its nature, it passes. And I am ready to enter my world of commitments with renewed energy and focus. 

Some tidbits from my world:

- I have been teaching my cubicle-mate to say "zh" in "tamizh". This exercise was initiated as he kept teasing me about my Indian accent. In return, I challenged him to say "vaazhai pazham". What a fun way to get back at him :-)

- November promises to be a happening month. Atul will turn two (why is this kid in such a hurry to grow up?) and we will have my Sil's family and my uncle visit us on two consecutive weekends. Yay!

- My eating habits are changing for the better. I am training myself to have a hearty breakfast, moderate lunch and light dinner. I wish I knew to enjoy good food and eat in moderation. In my case, the two are mutually exclusive. My caveman instincts are triggered when I see good food.

- Desperately trying to make time for workout. Why this sudden inspiration to eat right and exercise? I have always taken my health for granted but I am beginning to feel that I ought to treat it with respect before it bites me back.

- A couple of close friends moved out of Boston. I miss the comfort of dropping into somebody's house without having to make a phone call or worrying about ruining their plans. On a more cheerful note, I have made a couple of new friends and I look forward to getting to know them better (if time and energy permit).

- My emotional volatility has been particularly high this month. My next project is to learn to manage my emotions in a better manner. When I get upset, the entire household feels the pinch and that's not fair.

- Work got a bit boring a few days back and I was going through an identity crisis (at work). But now, I have enough things piled up to keep me from complaining. I am going to give myself some more time to learn all that I can from this job before considering a change. Gosh! change is scary. The human mind comes with all sorts of excuses.

- Tons of things to post on Atul. Hoping to make time for Atul update sometime this week.

Just want you folks to know that I am reading your posts regularly although I don't comment as much. Have a good week!

I have been stressed out a lot lately with the teeny-weenie things in life. It's time to step back and take a look at the big picture to gain perspective.

I have a very supportive, affectionate and understanding husband, an adorable and smart kiddo, non-interfering and yet caring family (parents, brother & in-laws) and friends who are more like family. And I am grateful that my professional life is taking shape.

Thank you God. Although I fret and fume on a daily basis, I want to let you know that I appreciate all that you have blessed me with. I could not have been happier.

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Okie, now on to ranting and raving.

Every now and then, I tend to get inspired and there is a rush of enthusiasm to learn and to accomplish. Since there is only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week and so many rolls to fulfill in that time, there is very little energy to do anything extra. The wide disparity between what I want to do and what I can actually do gets me frustrated.

Of late, I have been focusing a lot on myself. The problem is apart from having some time for myself, I want to spend some time with Arvind as well (I thought I was a low maintenance wife!). Baby-sitting and a demanding wife leave the poor guy hardly any time for himself, which in turn sends me on a guilt trip.

I am not a very self-disciplined person. When I have more than enough time, I tend to waste more than enough. When I am time constrained, I constantly complain as to how busy and monotonous life has gotten. I am annoyed with my sense of time.

I have noticed that I am nice and friendly with strangers no matter how crappy I feel inside. I tend to take out my frustrations on my dear ones. Shame on me.

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When I was younger, if I had an overwhelming day I would take comfort from my collection of quotes, sayings and anecdotes. Reading the "Desiderata" is an immediate stress reliever. Here's random link on that: http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html

If you have made it this for, you must be a good listener 

Here are ten weird things about me:

1. I don't eat curd/yoghurt/butter milk in its original or disguised form (kadi, aviyal etc).
2. I don't like to drink coffee but I love coffee toffees and coffee icecreams.
3. At home or at work, I finish my meals in a matter of few minutes but in a restaurant, I am a very slow eater.
4. I seldom get home-sick but I am friends-sick all the time.
5. I can't tolerate inconsistency in fonts and formats.
6. I have to plait my hair. I love to wear two plaits.
7. I buy birthday cards a month in advance but thanx to my habit of procrastination, I don't send them on time.
8. I enjoy my soups and hot chocolate even in peak summer.
9. I can sleep in a matter of minutes at any time of the day.
10. I don't realize I miss someone until I see them again.

I asked spotty_sri to interview me and she asked

1. I want to know this from almost everyone I know - Dogs or Cats?
2. What do you feel Atu will be doing 20 years from now? (His profession, I mean)
3. Who is your favourite author?
4. Which is your all time favourite movie based on a book? Why do you like it so much?
5. Last but not the least, given a choice, would you rather be a stay at home mom, or a working mom?

My reply was

1. Neither. I either scream or hold on to the person next to me if a dog or cat or any animal for that matter (except may be a calf) inches closer to me.
2. Going by his current interests, he either would be baking cookies or would turn out to be an oscar winning actor :)
3. Can I give a list? P.G. Woodhouse, Jeffrey Archer, R.K. Narayan, Bill Waterson, Ayn Rand and many more.
4. Harry Potter series because 1. It's magical 2. I feel like the director has done a good job of keeping up with Rowling's creativity 3. The friendship between Harry, Ron and Hermoine reminds me of my childhood days 4. I like British accent :)
5. I would like to be a stay-at-home mom for the first two years and a working mom after that. This statement is based on a number of assumptions.

Here are the rules of the game:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.