For the most part, shopping is a chore to me. I have a morbid fear that we will start accumulating stuff, one after the other, little by little, filling up every corner in the house. The sheer variety of things in a store overwhelms me. I would set out of the house to buy A, and the second I enter the shop my eyes would fall on everything but A, until the hubby comes humming the focus song in my ears. Soaking in guilt, I would inch closer to the 75% off sale sign board as though rationalizing the purchase. Yeah right! saving on something that you wouldn't have spent the money on in the first place, would imply Arvind's eye roll. Although not a shopoholic by nature, shopping has that sort of consumerist effect on me, which is why I gladly delegate the shopping duty when an opportunity presents itself.

I should say that with time, we have come up with tricks to meander our way out of the shopping maze. If it's beyond a certain dollar value, we do not buy it the first time we see it. If the thing evokes the same liking the second time, then comes the visualizing part – which corner of the house will it take up? Is it really worthy enough to forgo that space? If it passes that test, then the thing takes a ride on the shopping cart and has to go through a quick 10 sec reality check just before going to the cash counter. It is after surviving this ordeal, that it takes its place of honor at our household.

Ikea is one place wherein we take a shortcut approach to shopping. For one, it's a paradise for people who want to see their home organized and clutter free. Most of our purchases in Ikea are towards the quest to enhance the living space of our house, so indulgence in this case is purposeful. Secondly, it is quite far off from our home, so we wait for our list of things to buy to grow and age before venturing out to the store. Thirdly, we love the sense of style the store courts: innovative, bold, vibrant, tasteful, and space conserving. The icing on the cake is that the things don't cost a boatload of money. Last, but not the least, the shopping experience itself for a change is pleasant. It's the small things about the store that convince you that a lot of thought has been put into providing a hassle free shopping experience for the customer; the readily available inch tape, pencil, and paper at every nook and corner, Small Land that takes care of kids while the parents wrap up their shopping, and the parking spots for shopping carts while you dine at their food courts. No wonder our house is slowly being Ikea-ised - our Perumal cabinet, coffee mugs, Atul's table and chair,  trash bins sport the Ikea tag!

It has been a year since we moved into this house. Last year I wrote about how all of us were head over heels in love with the new house here, if at all anything the fondness has only grown stronger this past year. I must confess that it is a resource consuming exercise just to keep up with the day to day maintenance of the house let alone undertaking any home improvement projects. This past year, we have seen perennials wilt in the winter and spring to life as the seasons changed. We have muttered under our breath clearing mountains and mountains of snow from our driveway. The blue jays and cardinals have delighted us with their singing and dancing in our backyard. We have learnt that as pretty as the dandelions are, they can wreak havoc on our lawn. The school bus stop at the corner of the street has Atul aspiring for elementary and high school. The friendly neighbors and the local community have only made the experience complete by extending a support system.

Did I mention that we have added a lot of personal touch to the house - the kitchen flooring has gotten duller with food stains, the walls bear our finger prints, a scratch here and a crack there; I realize that it these marks that make this house a home, our sweet home!

A phrase I often use to describe Atul's day care seems suitable to express the way I feel about my life in the U.S. as well.

After some excitement over my visa, I landed in Boston seven years back. Limping due to a wrong size metti (toe ring), I dragged myself with my hand resting on Arvind's shoulder eagerly listening to all the tidbits about the ways of life in the U.S. A myriad of thoughts were running through my mind, some profound, and others mundane. The enormity of what I had left behind and the blind faith with which I was tagging along with this person for life was sinking in. Part of me was looking forward to all the milestones – first home cooked meal, first trip to the grocery store, first time meeting Arvind's friends , so on and so forth. Then in a true feminist style, there was a part of me that felt, why is it that I should give up family, friends, and career by default? why not him? That I was here on a dependent visa only rubbed salt to the injury. With this bag of conflicting emotions, I began a new chapter in my life.

The first year was a year of coping up with changes, fitting in the new environment, building a support system and exploring all the things that this country offered. In the process we discovered each other, developed greater appreciation for each other's likes and dislikes, and learnt that it was no fun pushing each other's hot buttons. The next two years we did more of what we did in the first year and with that we formed our own little traditions and laid down rules that govern the world we have built for ourselves. With Atul's arrival the concept of family and sense of belonging we have for each other and the fondness for this place has only grown over the past three years. 

To put it in a nutshell, in the beginning, it was like someone had given a clean slate and the only barrier to creating something beautiful was our own imagination. Today, seven years later, I feel a sense of contentment and gratitude with what Arvind and I have created on that slate. And somewhere between the first year and today, my feminist streak has unintentionally but selectively vanished.

Parenting a pre-schooler can sometimes be a patience-stretching exercise.  Like day before yesterday, when Atul decided that his sole task for the day was testing his boundaries, which meant I was constantly at his back giving him countdowns and threatening to withdraw rewards. He was pushing and pushing his limits and I just couldn't keep up. I gave up. I heaved heavily and closed my eyes. Atul, of course,  immediately knew that I was displeased with him and that's the last thing he wanted (I have to be happy with him, all the time. Period. ). He asadu vazhingified (not sure I can come up with a translation, roughly it means an expression out of guilt,  with the intention to win me back) and said with a sheepish grin, "Mommy, I am a troublesome kid. I am very naughty". All my repressed frustration just vanished into thin air and I was laughing away to glory. Oh, the things that he can be proud of!

When I narrated this to Arvind, my wise husband threw a nugget of wisdom - Atul is like  flowing water. It is better to go with the flow than to resist it.  And for the record, I agree :-)

Urukkatha vennayum Oradayum veyaithen
Orukalum en kanavar ennai vittu piriyamal irrukka vendum

So goes the prayer offered to Goddesses Kamakashi on the day of Karadaiyan Nombu. Roughly translated, this means, I offer to you butter and an adai, please grant me the boon to never be separated from my husband. The opportunity to offer this prayer could not have come at a more appropriate time for me. Let me explain why.

A dear friend lost her father rather unexpectedly over the past weekend. My heart goes out to the family, most of all to aunty. It just seems so unfair that after living your life day in and day out with someone, you lose him just like that for the rest of your life. No matter how many people she is surrounded with, she must be alone in going through what she is going through. They say time is the best healer, even for a broken heart. I fondly hope so. For the past two days, my thoughts drifted around my own near and dear ones and the anxiety of being separated from them gripped me.

That's why the spirit of Karadaiyan Nombu is so refreshing. It makes me want to appreciate all the special people in my life and thank the Almighty for making my life richer due to their presence. I am greatful and glad that Arvind is such a part and parcel of my life.  A pillar of support, that's what he is to me and no wonder I pray for a lifetime of togetherness. Oh Lord, bless him with good health, long life, a heart full of happiness and peace of mind. Wishing him with all that he wishes for.

I am sure if amma were to read this post, she would chuckle. When I was younger, every single time we observed this festival, I would question  "why should wives pray for husbands amma? why should I pray for someone I haven't even met just because he will become my husband one day. Avan ennakkaga enna pannuvan (what will he do for me?)!".

Life does come to a full circle, what do you say?

One of the things that I have learnt from Arvind is, nothing can beat the thrill of receiving a hand-made gift ; the time, the effort and the creativity that goes into it is just so heart warming.

If you care, it just has a way of showing up! Happy Valentine's Day to one and all.

We closed the agreement on the new house in the Boston Registry of Deeds on June 28th. Arvind and I arrived at the place half an hour early and so decided to take a detour to the nearby Galleria Mall for a dose of caffeine. We sat there, Arvind sipping his coffee and I, relishing my hot chocolate, recounting our house hunting experience. For most part, we were thankful that the process was relatively smooth thus far and concluded that if there was one thing we could have done differently, it would be hiring a buyer's agent. There were days when we wished we had someone to represent our interests in the transaction. Arvind did an amazing job of guarding our stake but little bit of help from an experienced mind could have given us a sense of direction. After this thoughtful discussion, we headed to the Registry of Deeds. It was supposed to be the busiest weekend for the season and there were many buyers and sellers in the process of closing their agreements. We managed to find a circular table and sat there twiddling our thumbs, waiting for someone to arrive. Before we could burst out of impatience, the seller's agent arrived. The lawyers came unfashionably late, adding to our anxiety. Arvind and I had to sign reams and reams of paper. We kept exchanging glances at each other as though reassuring that this is the right thing to do. Then came the most depressing part of the transaction: handing over that big fat down payment. I could feel butterflies in my stomach, the thought of having to make monthly payments, month after month, for the next 30 years was not very comforting. The deed was recorded and the transaction complete. Then came the loudest sigh of relief and the biggest smile, yet another milestone for both of us!

We hurried home to hire our rental van. A couple of friends pitched in with the move and the bulk of the stuff were transferred on the 28th evening. While we were scheduled to move to the new house on the 30th, a power shutdown at the old house forced us to move into our new home on the 29th. Neither Arvind nor I felt strongly about having a "grihapravesh", the housewarming pooja, and so by God's grace and with the blessings of the elders, we moved in with a  low profile simple "paal kaachi". I took the week off for unpacking and arranging things.

All of us are head over heels in love with our new home. The first few days, Atul kept yelling, "I like the new house".  My mom-in-law enthusiastically describes the house to folks back home. From time to time, Arvind and I would comment to each other, "I am glad we bought this house!".

Ok gotta go.. to savor the joys of home ownership: mowing the lawn, watering the plants, clearing the deck and not to mention the thrill of making our monthly mortgage payments.

Arvind and I went to Shrek 3 this afternoon, our first movie together in a movie hall after Atul was born,  to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary. The movie was fun although my all time favorite is Shrek 1. Incidentally, that was the first movie that Arvind and I watched together when I first came to Boston 6 years back. So, the Shreks hold a special place in the corner of our hearts :-)

Low: My car's remote wouldn't work this morning. The reason being, the headlights were on for the entire weekend causing the car battery to die down. I felt like knocking my head against the wall for committing the same mistake twice (I had posted about a similiar incident few months back). I should learn to learn from my mistakes.

High: I went beyond my comfort zone. I am so accustomed to driving Toyota Echo that I never bothered to test drive Arvind's Subaru ever since we bought it. Today, I was left with no choice but to take his car to drop Atu off at day care and proceed to work. Consequently, driving someone else's car is not a big deal anymore :)

Side story: Knowing that I am an aggressive driver, Arvind advised, "This is a bigger car than echo. Be careful about your right turns. The brake handles differently and I wouldn't speed on the highway". I felt like a teenager who has just gotten her license.